FUNNY JOKES, CRAZY JOKES, BLONDE JOKES...IN FACT ANY JOKE...YOU NAME IT WE HAVE IT 

Joke of the Day

Two blondes were walking through the woods, when they came upon some tracks.

The first blonde said, "They're deer tracks."

The second blonde said, "No, I think they are bear tracks."

Suddenly they were hit by the train.

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A guy named Matt received a parrot for his birthday. The parrot was fully-grown, with a bad attitude and an even worse vocabulary. Every other word was an expletive. Those that weren’t expletives were, to say the least, rude. Matt tried hard to change the bird's attitude and was constantly saying polite words, playing soft music, anything he could think of to try and set a good example. Nothing worked. He yelled at the bird and the bird yelled back. He shook the bird and the bird just got angrier and ruder. Finally, in a moment of desperation, Matt put the parrot in the freezer. For a few moments he heard the bird squawk and kick and scream. Then suddenly there was quiet. Not a sound for half a minute. Matt was frightened that he might have hurt the bird and quickly opened the freezer door. The parrot calmly stepped out onto Matt's extended arm and said, "I believe that I might have offended you with my rude language and actions. I will endeavor to correct my behavior. I really am truly sorry and beg your forgiveness." Matt was astonished at the bird's change in attitude and was about to ask what had made such a dramatic change when the parrot continued, "May I ask what the chicken did?"

This duck walks into a convenience store and asks the clerk, "Do you have any grapes?" The clerk says no, and the duck leaves. The next day, the duck returns and asks, "Do you have any grapes?" The clerk again says no, and the duck leaves. The day after that, the duck walks in the store again and asks "Do you have any grapes?" The clerk screams at the duck, "You've come in here the past two days and asked if we had any grapes. I told you no every time that we don't have any grapes! I swear if you come back in here again, and ask for grapes, I'll nail your webbed feet to the floor!!" The duck left, and returned the next day. This time he asked, "Do you have any nails?" The clerk replied, "No," and the duck said, "Good! Got any grapes?"

On a plane bound for New York the flight attendant approached a blonde sitting in the first class section and requested that she move to economy since she did not have a first class ticket. The blonde replied, I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, I'm going to New York and I'm not moving. Not wanting to argue with a customer the flight attendant asked the co-pilot to speak with her. He went to talk with the woman asking her to please move out of the first class section. Again, the blonde replied, "I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, I'm going to New York and I'm not moving." The co-pilot returned to the cockpit and asked the captain what to do about her. The captain said, I'm married to a blonde, and I know how to handle this. He went to the first class section and whispered in the blonde's ear. She immediately jumped up and ran to the economy section mumbling to herself, Why didn't anyone just say so? Surprised, the flight attendant and the co-pilot asked what he said to her that finally convinced her to move from her seat. He said, I told her the first class section wasn't going to New York.

A Brunette, a Redhead, and a Blonde escape a burning building by climbing to the roof. The Firemen are on the street below, holding a blanket for them to jump into. The firemen yell to the Brunette, Jump! Jump! It's your only chance to survive! The Brunette jumps and SWISH! The firemen yank the blanket away...the Brunette slams into the sidewalk like a tomato. C'mon! Jump! You gotta jump! say the firemen to the Redhead. Oh no! You're gonna pull the blanket away! says the Redhead. No! It's Brunettes we can't stand! We're OK with Redheads! OK says the Redhead, and she jumps. SWISH! The firemen yank the blanket away, and the lady is flattened on the pavement like a pancake. Finally, the Blonde steps to the edge of the roof. Again, the firemen yell Jump! You have to jump! No way! You're just gonna pull the blanket away! yelled the Blonde. No! Really! You have to jump! We won't pull the blanket away! Look, the Blonde says, nothing you say is gonna convince me that you're not gonna pull the blanket away! So what I want you to do is put the blanket down, and back away from it...

At one point during a game, the coach said to one of his young players, "Do you understand what cooperation is? What a team is?" The little boy nodded in the affirmative. "Do you understand that what matters is whether we win together as a team?" The little boy nodded yes. "So," the coach continued, "when a strike is called, or you're out at first, you don't argue or curse or attack the umpire. Do you understand all that?" Again the little boy nodded. "Good," said the coach. "Now go over there and explain it to your mother"

A ventriloquist is touring the clubs and stops to entertain in a small town. He's going through his usual run of off-color and 'dumb blonde' jokes, when a well-presented blonde woman in the fourth row stands on her chair and shouts: I've heard just about enough of your stupid blonde jokes, DICKHEAD! What makes you think you can stereotype women that way? What connection can a person's hair color possibly have with their fundamental worth as a human being? It is morons like you that prevent women like myself from being respected at work and in our communities and from reaching our full potential, because you and your anachronistic kind continue to perpetuate negative images against not only blondes, but women in general, for the sake of cheap laughs. You are a pathetic relic of the past, and what you do is not only contrary to Discrimination laws in every civilized country, it is deeply offensive to people with modern sensibilities and basic respect for their fellow citizens. You should hang your head in shame, you pusillanimous little maggot. Flustered, the ventriloquist begins to apologize, when the blonde yells, You stay out of this Mister! I'm talking to that little bastard on your knee!